Meet him at the airport. So here I am. Watching the board for that 5pm flight from JFK. I begin to get nervous. After months of conversations and web chats, here I am. What if he doesn’t like me? He knows EVERYTHING about me, so why do I feel like he knows NOTHING?
I have to get my fight or flight response under control. I know I can still turn tail and run. I know that I can either step forward or back. Stepping back takes me to everything safe. Everything normal and boring. Back to being the lonely Divorcee with almost grown children. But it is safe. No choices, no hard decisions. No option of risking my heart. I could be content, happy even. Yet I would never be satisfied. I would always wonder. Stepping forward. That sends me in to a world of choice and chance. Thrill and adventure. I risk my heart and my soul in this option. I would be content, happy and satisfied. So forward or back? Fight or flight? I laugh forgetting I am in an airport, causing several by passers to give me interesting looks. I have no choice in the matter. My heart made my decision for me long ago.
The board changes. One word catches my eye. ARRIVED. Here goes everything and nothing at the same time. I pull out my compact and inspect my wildly curly hair knowing there is nothing I can do for it now. I run my hands down the sides of my silky red shirt then brush the invisible lines and lint of my grey pencil skirt. I walk as close as I can get to the gate.
Watching. Waiting.
There. I see him. I let out the breath I never knew I was holding. He looks exactly like I knew he would. Dark slightly wavy hair, just enough that you want to lose your fingers in. Olive skinned and gray eyed. Everything about him radiates brilliance. The crowd begins to part as I slowly take a patent black stiletto step forward. Each step becomes increasing in pace. I hear the sound of his carry-on dropping to the ground. I feel his hands touch mine, funny I don’t even remember reaching out for him. All I see is his face, the look in his eyes as he takes me in. Like he is surprised I actually came. I feel the world slow; I hear the chatter of the passengers stop. Everything is waiting on us. My eyes flutter closed. I can feel his breath on my skin. His arms close around me. Enfolding me. My hands slide up his arms and around his neck. My fingers weaving into his hair. Kiss. My feet lift off the ground. There is a rushing in my ears. A tingling all over my skin. He tastes like summer after the rain. Sweet like the lavender and honey blend I know he takes in his tea.
I know everyone has stopped and is now staring at us. For once in my life I don’t care. The old women with their husbands and the ones with their groups of girlfriends all lift their hands to their hearts sigh and reminisce to the others “ remember when we were young? So in love? Without a care in the world? ” when we break away we just smile. He takes my hand and we begin to walk. The world still watching begins to come to life again.
We almost forget to go to baggage claim, but I remind him that he does need his luggage.
We get to my car and he pushes me against it. Kissing me hard. This kiss is opposite of the one in front of the world. This kiss is feral, hungry, and needy. Full of the pain and torture of being able to see me for months but not touch me or be near me. The knowing of being what seemed worlds apart and the greed of having me there in his arms. When he released me he opened the driver side door for me. I shakily got in relieved to have a few moments chance to calm my nerves. He climbs in the passenger side of my small car after placing his almost forgotten luggage in the trunk. He slides his hand over my shoulders leaving chills in his wake. I smile softly to myself at this intimate gesture. I turn the key hearing the v6 roar to life as he absentmindedly begins to play with my hair, neck, ears and shoulders.
The drive wasn’t long to the restaurant. But I had never had one short ride seems so long yet pass by so quickly. We no longer were hidden behind a computer. All of our flaws and misfortunes were out there for the other to see. The questions began to come back again. Would he still like me? Am I what he expected? But now they had new fears in tacked. Will he be what I expected? He is here, will he does he love me? Do I love him? I giggle at that one. Which cause a smile to cross his face as he glances at me for a second. Of course I love him. I loved him before he ever got on that plane to come to me. I loved him when I realized I missed talking to him on the days one of us were not available. I loved the man next to me with all my heart. Everything else I was pondering fell in comparison to this realization. I smiled. I could feel him watching me. His hand on my shoulder stopped being a second thought as I felt him take his hand and run his fingers up and down the back of my neck. I could feel him getting closer. It was as if he knew why I giggled; why my sudden explosive happiness. I felt his nose and mouth against my cheek as he nuzzled me. Then kissed a sweet, but very worthy kiss on my cheek. I turned in to the parking lot of the restaurant.
I requested a table on the patio. The sun was something we both needed, a reminder of bright futures. Our conversation began awkwardly. How do you talk to someone face to face that you had only sent emails and messages to? What do you say? I begin laughing and before long he joins in. Nothing has been said. It is one of those moments where you know the other person feels just as odd as you. In that moment, that one moment of glorious, spontaneous laughter, everything is fine. I no longer feel he knows nothing about me. I am not quite sure he knows everything, but that’s ok. During the rest of dinner he held on to my hands and I felt his legs rub against mine. Each brush sending shivers up my spine and a smile to my lips. I knew we could have anything.
You're quite a writer! Great work, girlie. *hugs*
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